I Have a Dream…

By Erin Pad

“Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness” – Martin Luther King Jr.

“I’m sick of your lies,” my mom yelled, “get your stuff and get out of my house!”

It was a freezing, January, Michigan night and my mom had finally drawn the line.  She had taken a stand.  I just stood there and mocked her like a selfish brat, but this time it was different— she was different.

There was a time when America made empty promises and lied to part of its family.  It took a strong parental figure, like Martin Luther King Jr. to show America that it needed to change.  He drew a line and he took a stand.  When my mom drew that line for me, I realized it was time for me to change.

My Mom and I

I sat there shivering on the porch, wondering how the hell I was going to “change.”  Throughout my using career and my countless tries at getting sober I walked through darkness.  I thought of no one, but myself.  I was the victim of life.  G-d hated me, and that was why I was the way I was.  I was constantly angry and had a bad attitude.  I did not care who I hurt because I was the victim, the black sheep who no one understood.  I hated everyone, including the monster I had become.   I decided I was sick of hating everything.  I wanted to change and be a better person.  I wanted to “walk in the light of creative altruism.”  After a few failed attempts at recovery in Michigan I decided to call Beit T’Shuvah, a place I’d heard could change lives.

Rabbi Mark is always talking about T’Shuvah, meaning return.  Doing T’Shuvah is the process of returning to your authentic self, your true self.  It is when you perform an act of kindness towards another human being.  T’Shuvah in itself can be selfish, but when applied in the right mind frame, it’s one of the most selfless acts one can do.

Martin Luther King Jr. once dreamed of a nation where people “will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.”  Today, I am recognizing the contents of my character and how I treat others.  I try to stand for what is right and not judge a book by its cover.  I try to treat everyone as an equal and be kind and compassionate, even to myself.  My mom and I have an amazing relationship today.  I treat her with respect, something I was incapable of doing while high.  I am trying to be the loving daughter she’s always deserved.  And she is my mother, the most beautiful, loving person in my world; something I’ve always known, but never acknowledged.  Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream that changed America forever. T’Shuvah is my dream.

The Nebulous Future of an Un”Kim Jong-Il” North Korea

By Michael Soter

Kim Jong-Il’s death leaves an unstable state without a clear leader.  Though his son has been named successor, nobody really knows anything about the elusively enigmatic Kim Jong-Un.  He now has a huge weapon’s arsenal at his disposal and a nation of people that do not have adequate access to goods that are essential in the modern world—like food.

Public reaction to Kim Jong Il's death

His death leaves the rest of the world in a state of hopeful fear.  When a dictator falls, one of two paths may be forged—progressive reform or repressive disaster.

In the first model (progressive reform), you have a country filled with citizens that are fed up with the government.  You have a leader that is either open to change or does not have the necessary clout to enforce his dictatorial policies.    The citizens that are hungry for change must be relatively organized, and if they are able to seize a modicum of power, they must not be carried away by the manic hunger that often arrives shortly after the first taste of power.

In the second model (repressive disaster), the new leader is intent upon enforcing stricter laws than the last ruler.  This dictator’s main drive is power, not providing for his people.  He is able to wield the nation’s weapons and assert his strength in a way the last leader was not.  He is ruthless and inexperienced—a combination that can only yield disaster.

Of course, there are many other possible outcomes—military coup and foreign intervention at the top of the list.  But, really, nobody knows exactly what is going to happen.

You may notice that this article is quite nebulous. It is because this story seems to beg more questions than answers.  What is our responsibility in this matter?  Do we sit back and watch, hoping for the best?  Or do we intercede and implement our ideals of democracy and freedom on yet another state of demagoguery? What do you think?

Related articles

• Kim Jong Il dead: Kim Jong Un weeps as he welcomes South Korean delegates (dailymail.co.uk)
• NKorea: Economic agreements discussed with South (seattletimes.nwsource.com)
• Kim Jong-il’s Eldest Son ‘Under Chinese Protection’ (maboulette.wordpress.com)

My Mom, Jennifer Sarnoff: Running to Save Souls

Me and my mom

My name is Jackson and I am 2 years old.  I like pudding and naptime. Another thing about me: my mommy, Jennifer, is crazy.  Wanna know why?

She is running 26.2 miles for the LA Marathon this year. So on top of having to take care of me, feed me, watch me, teach me, clean me, and get me to bed every day, she runs. And not just a mile, or two, but eventually, 26.2! And do you know who she’s running for? Beit T’Shuvah.  She’s running for a Jewish rehab that she never even lived at! She’s never even personally struggled with addiction. I mean, sure, while growing up in Los Angeles, my mom saw a lot of people deal with addiction—some of her family and friends were addicts. She’s seen the tragedy of alcoholism and witnessed the insanity of drug dependency. But she’s not an addict. She’s not an alcoholic. She’s not even a compulsive gambler.

She used to be “normal,” too. I did some eavesdropping and when asked if she ever thought about running a marathon, I overheard her saying in an interview: “No, and I’ll tell you a secret. I almost failed out of PE in high school because I wouldn’t run the mile…I hated running. I used to get hiccups and I didn’t know how to breathe right when I ran. I’m kind of laughing to myself when I run these distances. It blows my mind that I’m about to take on this experience.”

Crazy she may be, but I guess my mom is dedicated. She’s only able to run with the team every other week because she takes care of me. I like to think of myself as her boss. And as her boss I guess I’d like to tell her that I’m proud… huh? I gotta go. My mom’s calling me. And I love her, so I’m gonna go now.

Jennifer Sarnoff

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Jennifer Sarnoff has a remarkable, beaming radiance. She is a woman who follows through with her word, promising to run the marathon a year before she signs up. Jennifer is a key component to our team because, like Chris, she did not go through Beit T’Shuvah. She runs because of the kindness in her heart and the professed blessings she feels from seeing the bountiful work of Beit T’Shuvah, treating the broken-willed and restoring the souls of her loved ones. She now runs to save a soul.

When asked about what she is most nervous about running the marathon, she resolutely replied, “Running 26.2 miles… I’m not Forrest Gump.” She’s right, she’s not Forrest Gump—she’s Jennifer Sarnoff. And we think that’s something to be proud of. You can check her Crowdrise page here.

Related articles

• Lindsay Runs to Save Souls (beittshuvah.wordpress.com)
• Marathon Concierge, At Your Service (beittshuvah.wordpress.com)
• Coach Chris and the LA Marathon Run to Save a Soul 2012 (beittshuvah.wordpress.com)

Beit T’Shuvah’s Got Talent!!!

 

By Jaron Zanerhaft

 

Get ready.  Beit T’Shuvah is hosting its annual Talent Show with Havdalah this weekend, December 10 at 7p.m.! The buzz is getting louder each day, and anticipation is flowing through the halls, as the acts rehearse for the big night.  This year’s show promises to provide a Saturday night you won’t forget.

Last year, many great acts graced the bima as Beit T’Shuvah’s sanctuary was transformed into a performing arts theatre.  Curtains, lights, sparkling decorations, and the soulful sonic mixes of our resident sound team from BTS Productions draped Beit T’Shuvah’s most talented with an atmosphere of class and stardom.  Who could forget Nancy’s stirring rendition of Blondie’s One way or another?  “When she sang, ‘I’m gonna getcha,’” remarked BTS counselor Kelly, “I believed her!”  Talon gave a surprisingly poignant and profound rap, backed by a remix of John Lennon’s Imagine, and Sam (a.k.a. “Coke”) performed a set of originals full of ancient wisdom.  If last year was a taste of what’s to come, don’t be shocked if a few record deals are drawn up this weekend.

 

While Beit T’shuvah’s Music Department was solidly represented last year, talent also arose from well-hidden sources.  Diana, who fronts a Fleetwood Mac cover band, shared her voice, and even some of the counselors joined in, such as Jen who sang beautifully. In between musical numbers, a variety of skits speckled with impersonators and cross dressers kept the crowd amused and engaged.  The two MCs of the evening, Michael and Aaron, had the audience roaring with laughter even before the first act went on.  Throughout the night, Michael showed nearly inappropriate affection for some of the female performers, and Aaron played his famed “I like Cheese” song.

This year, young Joshua will weave his way amongst the talent to MC us through the show.  Josh was only too happy to talk to the press.  “I’m suuuper excited!! It’s gonna be a great night!!!” he says, with arms flailing through the air.  “I’m gonna wear a bowtie!”  The glint in his eye says everything.  The Beit T’Shuvah 2011 Talent Show will be one for the books. Don’t miss it!  This Saturday.  December 10th. 7 p.m.  Be there.

Lindsay Runs to Save Souls

By Ben Spielberg

As I listen, immersed in her story, I notice Lindsay’s cadence and rhythm as she explains her development into a Beit T’Shuvah resident. She tells me of her struggles and success; her voice lowers and slows to a crawl as she retells her history pre-Beit T’Shuvah, and her voice rises in pitch and quickens as she speaks of her future aspirations of running the Run to Save a Soul 2012 LA Marathon.

Just another day at surf therapy

When most people think of recovering drug addicts, they don’t think of Lindsay Recht. They don’t think of college students, who hide their methamphetamine use from their friends and family. They don’t think of “nice Jewish girls” or strong women. They definitely don’t think of swimming teachers or frightened yet poised diabetics. However, Lindsay Recht is all of those things and so much more.

Her story is heartbreaking—as I interview her, I notice her voice quiver and crack when she talks about her family history of addiction. I notice her body shake briefly as she discusses how low her drug use took her—how her parents had to let go of her and how drugs exacerbated her feelings of never fitting in. Most importantly, though, I notice the light in her eyes as she talks about the LA Marathon—how she is no longer running for herself, but instead for the next addict coming into Beit T’Shuvah.

This progression for Lindsay was not easy. Before her time at Beit T’Shuvah, she resisted sobriety despite moving into sober living. After reluctantly moving into Beit T’Shuvah, Lindsay had a cathartic experience in temple one day. “I was dancing at [temple] Valley Beth Shalom,” she shared, “And rabbi came up to me and told me I had this light about me. And he thanked me for sharing it with [them].”

This marathon won’t be easy for Lindsay, either. “It scares me, honestly. I’m diabetic. At this point, it’s like, I’m not running it for me anymore. I’m running it for someone else—for the next drug addict who needs a bed. It’s so much bigger than just me at this point.” Because of her courage and selflessness, we will be following Lindsay until she crosses the finish line. You can view her Crowdrise page or check her out on Twitter.

Can Teenagers Be Grateful?

By: Kaylee Bowling (freshman in high school)

Thanksgiving is a time of love and gratitude.  It’s a time to spend with close fiends and family and let them know what you are thankful for.  When people think about what they are thankful for it’s all the same.  Some say they are must happy to have a roof over their heads and food in their fridge.  For others it may be that they survived another year.  These are the easy things to say but it’s much more difficult to think of things that have a deeper impact.

Today I came with my step dad to work.  Everyone was chilling in the downstairs office listening to him speak.  I was just leaning against the stair railing half listening to my iPod and him at the same time.  He said that X Factor’s gratitude show inspired him to do some sort of gratitude circle so he went around asking everyone what they are grateful for.  Everyone said the same things, they are thankful for being sober, having the opportunity to work for BTS Communications and to not spend another holiday locked up.  When John got to me I couldn’t really think of anything on the spot.  ‘Food’ I said.  Cool shows how grateful I am.  I wondered why I couldn’t think of anything more.  There is so much I should be thankful for, why didn’t I just say something other then food?  So I listened to John speak.  His gratitude was really meaningful and personalized.  He said he was thankful for his new office, newborn nephew, family and other personal things.  I won’t say word for word what he said but it made me happy to hear something different.  I wanted to share what I was really happy for too, and it’s not just food.

Now that I can take a moment to analyze everything, I know that I m appreciative for a bunch of things, for one my brother Austin.  Yes that must be a shocker to some people but he has been helpful just letting me know he is willing to listen to me.  Even though I don’t always accept his help I am thankful for being able to trust him.  I am also tremendously grateful for Beit T’Shuvah.  Without it my mom would have never gotten sober and I would still live in foster homes.  She would not have met John and gotten married.  I still wouldn’t have a dad, but she did get sober.  She got me out of foster care and I have John as my father, which I never thought I could have.  I am grateful for my life being turned around and my family being brought together.  I also couldn’t be more thankful for the friends I have…they are everything to me.  When all hope is lost in my dramatic teenage life they are there for me.  And when I am content they keep me that way.  I am grateful I have gone through so much with people who make me happy to be alive and discover true friendship.

Now obviously I appreciate a roof over my head and food in the fridge, to have been able to survive another year, but there is so much more, I just had to put a little thought into it. So now I ask you… what are you really thankful for?

For Those Who Choose to Live

By Jaron Zanerhaft

November 18^th marked the 33^rd anniversary of the Jonestown Massacre when over 900 people committed suicide by drinking Flavor Aid laced with cyanide at the order of cult leader Jim Jones.  This mass suicide accounts for the greatest number of American civilian casualties pre-9/11.  Though devastating, the psychology of mass suicide does not speak to the type of suicide that claims the most tragic victims: teens.  How can we prevent young adults from taking their lives of their own accord?

October was difficult this year for Agoura Hills.   Within six days of each other, three Agoura High School students lost their lives, each a victim of suicide.  Candlelight vigils, Facebook pages, Twitter R.I.P. notes, memorial services, and much more have honored Dan Behar, Josh Feinberg, and Griffen Kramer, all of whom had difficulty coping with the foreboding of post-high school life.

Agoura High, their alma mater, held it’s first annual Friendship Week from October 3-7 this year.  The new initiative began as a response to an uptick in teen suicides from the surrounding area over the past few years.  Friendship Week was meant to show teens that they are not alone.  Strangely, the three Agoura Hills suicides took place roughly two weeks after Friendship Week had concluded. 

The concept behind Friendship Week is that loneliness is the main contributing factor in teen suicide.   One of the crew from the BTS Prevention program believes otherwise.  “I think that it has a lot to do with the pressure placed upon teens,“ he expresses with genuine concern.  “Families need to realize that teens need a chance to be teens and make their own mistakes.  When we allow them to grow up at a normal rate, it’s possible teen suicide will decline. “  As we continue to explore the reasons for these tragedies, we hold on to hope that nothing like Jonestown or Agoura Hills will ever happen again.

This Is Aronofsky’s Brain Against Drugs

Darren Aronofsky, the director of Requiem for a Dream, Black Swan, and The Wrestler, recently hit the small screen, releasing four commercials as part of the nationwide Meth Project.  The Project’s goal is to curb use of methamphetamines throughout the country—as proof of its success, the project cites ABC’s study showing that “meth use has declined by 65% in Arizona, 63% in Montana, and 52% in Idaho since the 2006 commencement of its campaign.”

Aronofsky departs from the “this is your brain on drugs” movement of the 1990’s and the “just say no” crusade of the 1980’s.  He instead stays true to his directorial style, depicting intensely graphic, seemingly exaggerated realities.

Watching the commercials left me with the same feeling as Black Swan, a queasy stomach, like I had just watched a video that I had no right to see. I was a fly on the wall, viewing the precise moments that mother, daughter, son, and brother would never want exposed.

A hospitalized teenager in the throes of a meth-induced psychosis. A mother hysterically clutching her daughter over a blood-red sink.  A young boy cowering in the corner of his bedroom while his older brother tears through the room looking for money.  A teenager in a dark motel room, selling his body for meth. 

Aronofsky’s commercials all answer one question: What can methamphetamine do?

Meth can bring you to a place where you steal from your family, sell your body, attempt suicide, and/or end up in a mental hospital.  These scenes are real.   They happen.  I just don’t know if his scare tactics will work—they wouldn’t have worked for me.  Will they work for you?

Remember when Veteran’s Day was called Armistice Day?

By Michael Soter

Remember when Veteran’s Day was called Armistice Day?

If you remember the early 1940’s, the answer to this question might be yes.  Otherwise, it’s just a little known truth that has disintegrated into the cluttered atmosphere of useless historical facts.

Christened Armistice Day as World War One (The War to End All Wars) came to a close, the name was changed to Veteran’s Day when world leaders realized that World War Two also happened to fall under the category of warfare.

I think that we should change the name back to Armistice Day.  Not as a day of remembering that war has been wiped off the face of the earth (because that is ridiculously false) but as a symbol of hope, as a day that forces us to lay down our weapons and open our hearts to a world in which eternal peace is a vague possibility.

You may say that this takes away from the honor we give to our Veterans on November 11^th.  But I say that it bestows upon them a greater honor than before.  They fought valiantly for their country.  But the time has come for peace, the only thing that is worth fighting for.

Birthday Bash = Huge Success!

While Beit T’Shuvah’s multipurpose sanctuary wears many different hats, on Saturday it wore a feathered fedora for Rabbi Mark Borovitz’s 60th birthday party, transforming the sanctuary/dining hall into something barely recognizable. The doors opened to a dimly lit room with small lounge tables speckling the floor, black curtains adorning the walls and tables, and a full booze-less bar complete with cocktails such as the ‘Fuzzy Harriet’ and ‘Lonely Addicts Iced Tea.’

Rabbi’s gangster-themed “Roast and Toast” birthday party turned the Beit T’Shuvah sanctuary into a speakeasy, with guests dressed as 1920’s flappers and mob bosses.  Only at Beit T’Shuvah is it possible to roast your boss and spiritual leader in his own rehab-cum-barlounge.  While the décor was incredible, the Shirley Temples were delicious, and the food was scrumptious, the entertainment was the highlight of the evening.   Rabbi’s friends, family, and employees took turns serenading and addressing their Rabbi, their boss, their mentor, their husband, and their father.  Unconditional love for the man responsible for the redeemed souls in the room shined through the biting wit of each speech.

Rabbi’s birthday party reflected the enigmatic nature of Beit T’Shuvah.  It is a rehab that treats the deadly illness of addiction, but it is also a community with a sense of humor.  Beit T’Shuvah is able to let its hair down and poke fun of its spiritual leader, while praising him for his hard work, patience, and accomplishments.

p.s. Rest assured, the Rabbi took the roast in stride, so the employee count remained the same on Monday.