My most heart-felt inspiration is my mother April, but to understand my mother, you must first know how addiction has torn through her life. My father developed a heavy dependence on crack cocaine and methamphetamine, needless to say, the thirteen years of their marriage consisted of more hard times than good. Early in their relationship my brother and I were born. My mother worked multiple jobs to ensure my brother and I were cared for, despite having no time what so ever, dealing with my father’s problem and working multiple jobs, my mother always found the time to instill values and pay special attention to myself and my brother. This is where my inspiration is derived from, she immersed herself in us boys. We are her purpose and her passion. This for me, defines the essence of being human.
When my older brother and I went through our addictions, my mother could have easily thrown money at us when we asked for it, or let us live in her home till we were in our late twenties. However my mothers beliefs kept her strong though these horrible times. You see my mother believed that by enabling us that she would be hurting us, and though at the time my brother and I were blind to this, we now realize that it saved our lives. I can’t imagine the heartache, the sleepless nights, the emotions of terror, bewilderment, frustration, and despair she endured. My heart wrenches just to think of it. With out a doubt, it is the worst pain any mother could go through.
In June of 2008 my older brother entered the doors of Beit T’Shuvah from Los Angeles County Jail. In that simple action a miracle occurred. In the following months my brother, after over a decade of drug abuse, was delivered from a hopeless state of mind, body, and spirit, to a man of passion and purpose. When I came into the loving hands of Beit T’Shuvah in November of 2009, I had no idea that in the proceeding months I too would find the fervor for life that I thought I had forsaken. I realized I was a person of worth, and my life would play a significant role in history. I had discovered my purpose!
On January 24th, 2010, Beit T’Shuvah had its annual gala at the Beverly Hilton. My brother and I were sitting at a table next to each other looking and feeling absolutely superb. Both of us, and how we felt that night, was nothing in comparison when I looked up at the table into the eyes of my mother. The love, pride, and gratitude poured from her heart and filled the air. For that night, the pain, heart ache and suffering we had put her through had left and need not come back, for her children, her little boys that she loves with all her heart were returned to her safe, sober and filled with purpose. I am so grateful for my life.
Beit T’Shuvah Resident