“No I Never Heard Them Singing…Till There Was You”

by Eliana Katz

I am a proud Orthodox Jewish woman.  As my family has moved a number of times, I was raised in a number of different Orthodox communities: Los Angeles, Rochester, and Fort Lauderdale.  There is a certain comforting fluency to these communities and their synagogues. I know that no matter where I am in the world I will be able to follow the order of every service, sing along with every melody, and tune in to each Rabbi’s sermon with the same level of clarity.

            But with familiarity comes the risk of redundancy.  If I’m being what my husband calls ‘Beit T’Shuvah honest,’ as someone who has been going to services nearly ever Shabbat of my life, I’ve grown a bit tired. Then again, perhaps it’s simply complacency, but there is little that has been able to ruffle my spiritual feathers in quite some time.  Since I took up my post at Beit T’Shuvah, I have been promising myself to ‘try’ the acclaimed Friday night services.  As with all things complexly Orthodox, it had to be weather, time, and circumstances permitting, as my husband and I would have to walk the 3 miles home.  Having been in Beit T’Shuvah 9 months, maybe I had to wait out the ‘prenatal’ term before I could fully appreciate what I was about to behold.


            I know for many of you, I will be describing something you take part in every week, but I will attempt to describe my experience of Beit T’Shuvah services with the same awe and wonder of someone who is experiencing them for the first time.  My husband and I took a seat next to one another, and held hands. This was a special treat, as we are used to a Mechitzah—a divider that separates men from women. We then braced ourselves for what would be an otherworldly experience. I have to first state my amazement of Cantor Rachel, the band, and the choir.  I believe the unique brand of Beit T’Shuvah music takes the services to a haunting, marrow-penetrating place I’ve never quite been before. Beyond that, there are three things in competition for my favorite part of the evening: Gratitude/T’Shuvah, Dancing to Lecha Dodi, and the Birthday Speeches.

            Gratitude was introduced to the congregation on the heels of a reading about T’Shuvah.  Congregation members were given the opportunity to openly seek amends or give gratitude for their week in front of the community.  Religiousity aside, all Jews rely on at least one day, Yom Kippur, to wipe their sinful slates clean. As an Orthodox Jew I know that in the daily prayers, we have the opportunity to ask G-d for forgiveness 3 separate times with the reciting of the Amida- the Silent Prayer. But I’ve already cautioned about the habitual becoming rote.  People expressing their remorse and receiving forgiveness in front of a room full of people, THAT is real T’Shuvah. Reading the daily prayer is just the reminder, but in Beit T’Shuvah services, people are invited to do what the Rabbi calls the ‘Next Right Thing.’ I hope for the courage and boldness to make T’Shuvah openly in my life on a weekly basis.

            Lecha Dodi is the prayer that brings in the Shabbat. It welcomes in the Shabbat Kallah, the Sabbath bride. A recent kallah myself, I can appreciate the joy of being literally danced to my Chuppah. That is what the Beit T’Shuvah congregants do- they get up off their seats and welcome in the Sabbath with stomping feet and snapping fingers.  I have a friend that once said, Lecha Dodi truly welcomes the Angels, but only if they feel invited. I now know the Angels RSVP ‘yes’ to Beit T’Shuvah on a Friday night!


And lastly, my husband and I had the distinct pleasure of choosing a weekend with 7 sober birthdays. From just a tender year to a seasoned six, each person got up and expressed gratitude to the community, their counselors, their friends, their spiritual guides, and encouraged fresh residents in the program to continue to put one foot in front of the other.  They each ended their speeches with the simple yet profound, ‘Thank you for my life.” Through tears and even laughter, I don’t think I can aptly express to you the articulation and eloquence with which these individuals relay their hearts. It is the reason why I have said, since I’ve come here, myself a ‘normie,’ that EVERYONE can benefit from recovery.  I’ve come to feel that perhaps it is the missing link in the evolution of the complete man.

            The last unique component, which I guarantee you will find at no other synagogue, is when the new residents are welcomed and embraced by the community on the pulpit each week. With ‘Baruch Habbah B’Shem Hashem,’ [Blessed is he who walks in the name of G-d] they are shown that they are not just a number in a clinical facility, but a human being with a soul that is now a part of something much greater than itself. These residents are told by the congregants- yelled at even!- through their detoxing fog, “HOLD ON!”


A newly grateful member of the community, I too plan to do just that. 

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10 thoughts on ““No I Never Heard Them Singing…Till There Was You”

  1. What a beautiful description of your experience. Thank you.

    1. With six degrees of separation connecting us through family and friends Bob and I were delighted to see Eliana at services and to learn that she is now working at Beit T’Shuvah. After reading this gorgeous article, I more fully appreciate what a gift she is to BTS Communications. Bob and I love going to services at Beit T’Shuvah so much that, as many of you know, we drive in from Santa Clarita every Friday. (Shhh, don’t tell our orthodox relatives!) Obviously, “The Shuv’s” non-traditional services are not for everyone, so it is interesting to see our weekly ritual through the eyes of someone more familiar with orthodox practices. This article perfectly describes all the reasons that we are so delighted to call Beit T’Shuvah our shul. And yes, getting to hold hands during services is one of the many benefits!

      See you on Shabbat,

      Jae Farkas

      1. Jae- what a pleasure it was to see you and Bob as well and get to experience some of the magic that the two of you get each week. Thanks so much for making me feel so welcome and your nice words. (I’m blushing :)).- Eliana

  2. Eliana,

    It was a such an honor to share this night with you and Micah. Keep coming back!!!!!

    1. Sitting next to you guys and Stephanie really made it all the more awesome. thanks for showing us such a good time! -Eliana (& Micah)

      1. Eliana,
        This is the most beautifully captured portrait of a Friday night service. Thank you for reminding me about complacency and the weekly miracle of Shabbat. It was beyond a pleasure to share the evening with the both you! 🙂

  3. So beautiful, eliana…my experience exactly…also how i’ve described it in the intro to the Beit Tshuvah handbook…in the years going back and forth from mechitzah to arms.around.each.other Yedid Nefesh I came to appreciate both/and. I can only agree that while tradition may sustain me, Beit T’Shuvah is truly life giving.

    1. My thoughts exactly Ronnie! Thank you. It is a both/and. I can be a proud orthodox women that loves me some Beit T’Shuvah. Rabbi Mark said in his sermon- “I’m starting a new brand of Judaism, it’s called ‘Just Jewish.'” My husband and I looked at each other like- that’s it! that’s what we’ve been trying to articulate. I’m just a Jew, working my way through a wealth of spiritual experience, internalizing those that mean something to ME. 🙂

  4. Eliana –

    You are a jewel for us – and I am so glad you enjoyed Shabbat. I hope I can share it with you soon.


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