The Images of Support Groups

The first time I had ever even heard of a support group was through the movie Fight Club, in which the protagonist had begun to attend Alcoholics Anonymous, as well as support groups for the terminally ill, in order to take himself out of his own head. The meetings were depicted as bleak—10-20 people gathered in a circle, beat up and torn up faces drinking stale coffee. And even though some were crying, the tears were emotionless, a saline solution dripping out of jaded and distant eyes.

For a long time, this is exactly what I thought Alcoholics Anonymous would be like. When I went to a private high school bordering the coast in Santa Monica, year after year, another girl would drop out and come back with a “sober companion,” chanting her maxims of sobriety, AA, and preaching her message to anybody who would listen. It was a confusing juxtaposition—were these support groups for the teary-eyed, forgotten cancer patients? Or were they filled with hipsters chewing gum, drinking fresh cups of Starbucks coffee, proudly bragging of their war stories before sobriety? Was this a program of gossip, of determining who was the next to get “loaded,” the next to bite the bullet and give up, or was this a program of old-timers who are one drink away from certain death?

The answer is all of the above.

My first AA meeting was in August 2009; I walked into the Marina Center early one morning, tired and apprehensive. I stepped into a world of rhythmic catchphrases, a world where coffee was currency to fit the pockets of Styrofoam cups. My friend was nodding off as the speaker spoke and time seemed to freeze as I popped Immodium, one after another, precisely at every “tick” and every other “tock.” After an hour the meeting was over and everybody stood up, held hands, and recited the serenity prayer.

I eventually began to regularly attend meetings—at first still high and then sober—and as I “kept coming back,” my perception slowly changed. I found meetings of meditation and forgiving Buddhist-based disciplines, and I found meetings full of kids in high school, only making an appearance because their parents’ dropped them off. I found meetings that I liked, meetings with one speaker and meetings with no speakers, and I found meetings filled with laughter and meetings with only earth-shattering silence.

What I realize now is that Alcoholics Anonymous can be whatever I choose to make it. Sobriety doesn’t have to look like a stereotypical snapshot; it can look like whatever you want it to be.

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5 thoughts on “The Images of Support Groups

  1. Very well-written and oh, so true! At one time, many years ago, I had a slight addiction to alcohol. I didn’t drink except socially in the presence of other people. I only drank at home if I had company. I learned that the social part was a problem as I was not able to keep up with schedules such as work, etc., and decided that enough was enough. Luckily, I just put it aside, out of my mind, and had no problem continuing to drink. I still don’t drink except maybe a glass of wine at a special meal or outing, but no more heavy partying for me! I admire you for sharing your story. I hope others take heed of what you shared and apply it to their own lives and/or experieinces! Shalom

    1. A “Slight” addiction to alcohol Funny stuff there. I bet you were pregnant till the baby pooped out. You didn’t not have to say yes every time a drink was offered – at any occasion, social of business. It’s not rude not to drink. Have a soda, club soda, juice, water………..nobody cares, and if they do it’s their problem. If you feel so insecure about yourself that you have to make excuses and lie just say that you are taking a medication (antibiotics for example) that you can’t drink on. I’m an alcoholic, I don’t drink and rarely if ever I can remember has my not drinking somewhere been in any way a topic of conversation

  2. RGValleyGal, thank you for sharing and I’m glad that you identified with this story.

    Just a reminder to all our readers, we want this blog to be a welcoming and open platform for anybody to share. Let’s try to keep our comments and responses amicable.

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