Three months ago to this day I wasn’t quite sure what I was going to do with my life. I had conceivably failed at everything I had tried—I was a barely passable musician, I couldn’t pick up girls, and my writing was insufferable. There was one thing I was really, really good at, though—I could do drugs. Out of my admittedly small social circle, I was the go-to guy when it came to buying, selling, or using drugs. I actually recall during a therapy session a few months before I got sober when I told my therapist I could have used drugs with the famous addicts—William S. Burroughs, Ken Kesey and Charles Mingus.
And then I entered treatment, and while I was technically sober at day one, my mind still had a lot of “sobering up” to do. I was physically, emotionally, and spiritually lost; I didn’t even know where to put my hands! Shortly after I came to the realization that even though there is an innate quality inside of me that tends to love drugs, there can also be a part of me that loves other parts of life in sobriety. I figured out that I love playing music and writing short pieces of prose. I still needed something to fill up my time, though. Instead of counting down the minutes smoking cigarettes, I tried everything I could to keep me sober. I went to meetings, I (attempted) to write screenplays, I meditated, I drank coffee and I helped out in the kitchen.
The point that I’m trying to get across is that when anybody is new in sobriety, it can be quite difficult to figure out what to do with yourself even for an hour of time. For the first 20 years of my life I was constantly judging things I had never tried—skydiving was stupid, meditation was for boring people, and surfing was for the “jocks.” Eventually, I realized I might as well try these things before I judge them, they might even be something that compelled me to consistently push forward rather than fall due to old behavior. If I had never gotten a haircut I’d still be dirty and if I never tried to write a blog then you wouldn’t be reading this right now.
- A&E Network In Production On New Original Real-Life Series “Relapse” From The Producers Of The Emmy-Award Winning Series “Intervention” (tvbythenumbers.zap2it.com)
- Does temporary sobriety work? (ask.metafilter.com)