My New Year’s Resolution? Don’t Shoot Heroin.

By M. Alexander

It has been about 10 years since I have made any New Year’s resolutions and I have never kept one in my entire life. Since I only have 5 months of sobriety and I am just now beginning the process of changing my entire life, I do not want to get ahead of myself. I want to make a resolution that I can keep for 365 days. I want to remember it on December 31, 2011 and be proud of my accomplishment.

My only resolution for 2011 is to have a better year than 2010, even if it is only better by one-tenth of a percent, one moment, one grain of sand. The beginning of 2010 was pretty terrible. I was working a job I didn’t enjoy, chasing drugs, and living a solitary, meaningless existence. I got kicked out of my house, I lost my job, I almost died. When I entered treatment, my life did not improve immediately. I was quite sick. My body was weak and every virus hit me like the plague. My heart and soul had been shielded and protected for such a long time that life itself was foreign to me. I went through a form of culture shock, “World Shock”.

Getting used to life and sitting through uncomfortable feelings has gotten both more difficult and easier as July has rolled into December. As the time between the present and my last drug grows longer each day, my shields are slowly dissolving; the feelings have become more uncomfortable, but my coping skills continue to improve at the same time.

In 2011, I will face pain, I will face loss, I will face sadness. I will prepare myself as best as I can for the inevitable and it will be a better year than 2010. I will not drink or use no matter what, for the entire year, one day at a time.

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4 thoughts on “My New Year’s Resolution? Don’t Shoot Heroin.

  1. Progress, not perfection. One day at a time.

  2. Thank you for your comments Fleur and Joseph. I hope the New Year has been good to you. Keep doing the right thing.

    Michael Soter

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